Russ' landlady adopted what might once have been a poodle, before it started losing hair and its hips locked up. Her daughter's boyfriend hired Chris to euthanize the dog one day while she was at work. Taking it to the local vet, he explained that he wanted the body back, so he could give it a dignified burial. He snuck into the house shortly before she got home. When she arrived, she found that "Cuddles" had passed away in his little doggie bed...
So far as anyone knows, she still doesn't know about this. Yet.
Russ sez:
A true story. Probably our favorite song to play live. More than a little over the top by the time we get to the end. It also has the only two-handed tapping solo on the album; a cliche I usually try to avoid, but useful here.
You know they put him up to it, it wasn't very nice They handed him the dog and made him name his price The dog was old and deaf and it couldn't even see When it got a heaping helping of his hospitality Chris Killed your dog, They paid him well Now your dog is roasting in the fires of hell Chris Killed your dog, They paid him well Now your dog is wormfood in Purina worm chow He smiled a bit looked around and tossed it in the car Slammed the door said, "Shut up cunt, we aren't going far." That doggie whimpered, moaned and whined it didn't want go Chris just lit another joint and turned up the radio Chris Killed your dog, They paid him well Now your dog is roasting in the fires of hell Chris Killed your dog, They paid him well Now your dog is wormfood in Purina worm chow Guitar Solo When the dog stopped twitching, in case you have some doubts He brought the body back and then he left in in your house It was later that same night when I heard your mother say I really loved that dog it's too bad he passed away Chris Killed your dog, They paid him well Now your dog is roasting in the fires of hell Chris Killed your dog, They paid him well Now your dog is wormfood in Purina worm chow He only got ten dollars and it went right to his head He'd do it all again 'cause he always needs the bread I don't want you to get worried I hope you can stay calm But he overheard you bitching just how much you hate your mom Chris Killed your dog, They paid him well Now your dog is roasting in the fires of hell Chris Killed your dog, They paid him well Now your dog is wormfood in Purina worm chow
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